Chloe Ray, in today’s final installment of discussing the inspirations behind her songs, talks of her struggles with PTSD last year which led to her penning ‘Not Giving Up’.
MV: Chloe, ‘Not Giving Up’ has to be one of my faves from ‘Reprise’. I love the strong Irish feel and the conviction felt in this song, do you have a story behind this one?
CR: “When I wrote ‘Waiting Room‘ I had poured out so much emotion into that EP, that each time I performed the songs I relived certain events and situations. The song ‘Someone Good’ was about a friend of mine who had committed suicide – I remember our last conversation and they said that “…someday you’re going to be someone good…” Performing that song rehashed the hurt and pain over and over again and although I was elevated so high from my debut release, I began to unravel as I became aware that in fact I hadn’t dealt with their passing. I was going through PTSD and it made me quite ill to the point where I thought to myself, I can’t continue my musical journey.
It was at that point I picked up my guitar and started to pen the song ‘Not Giving Up’. One of my grandmother’s was like one of the strongest women I knew growing up, she was from Co Cork in Ireland and you could always count on her for the best advice. I sat there and thought, What would she say to me, should she find me in this situation? and I could just hear her say “So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to run?”.
The song is emotional but at the same time gives me strength when I sing I’m ‘Not Giving Up’.
I just hope that others struggling with mental health issues are able to take something from this song and the whole album – as I was at rock bottom but I fought back.”